Last week I wrote about Katie Davis, a young girl who went to Uganda right out of high school because she loved Jesus. From her journal:
"I am twenty years old and have fourteen children and four hundred more who all depend on me for their care. Who are all learning to love Jesus and be responsible adults and looking up to me. The reality of it all can be a bit overwhelming at times. However, it is always pure joy. There is a common misconception that I a courageous. I will be the first to tell you that this is not actually true. Most of the time, I am not brave. I just believe in a God who will use me even though I am not. Most mornings, before I even get out of bed, I am overwhelmed with His goodness, with His plan for my life; I stand in awe of the fact that He would entrust me with so much. Most days, I don't have much of a plan. I might have to take a friend to the hospital or I might have a meeting with the principal at school. One of my children could wake up with a fever and I might be in pajamas all day cleaning up vomit. My dog might have puppies in the bathtub or I might have to perform minor surgery on a neighbor. We could have some extra people in our home or maybe just a monkey that my children insist on nursing back to health.
"I don't always know where this life is going. I can't see the end of the road, but here is the great part: courage is not about knowing the path. It is about taking the first step. It is about Peter getting out of the boat, stepping out onto the water with complete faith that Jesus will not let him drown.
"I do not know my five-year plan, and even tomorrow will probably not go as I have planned. I am thrilled and I am terrified, in a good way. Some call it courage, some call it foolish, I call it faith. I choose to get out of the boat. Sometimes I walk straight into His arms. More often, I get scared and look down and stumble. Sometimes I almost completely drown. And through it all, He never lets go of my hand.
"Lord, may we choose you every moment of every day. We want to be fully committed to You. We want every day to become a day we say 'yes' to You. We repent for lukewarm-ness, from mediocrity, from normalcy. We want to shine so brightly for You that others can't help but see and feel your love. Let us look at every encounter as an opportunity to show your love.
"Lord, on the days were helping just one more person seems like too much, help me to choose You.
"On the days when Satan whispers: 'You can't save everyone, why are you trying?' let me choose You.
"On the days when it would be too easy to pop in a movie for my children instead of reading Scripture with them, let me choose You.
"When harsh words are easier to find than kind ones, let me choose You.
"Father, like Paul, I know what I want to do, what I should do, and yet I find myself failing and discouraged. Thank You for your grace. Thank You that You who sit so high would look low upon people like me and use us as a vessel for you. How blessed we are to even be called servants, to be able to share in your kingdom and share your love with others. Thank you for the cross, where you have given us peace and holiness. Father, we long to say 'Yes' to You."
- From July 20, 2010. Published in Kisses from Katie (Nashville: Howard Books, 2011) 246-249.