Monday, April 14, 2014

Noah—A Review

Davey, last Thursday morning: "What are you doing this afternoon?"

Me: "Nothing. Why?"

Davey: "Do you want to go see Noah? I can reserve us nice reclining seats. And it got pretty good reviews."

Me: "Okay."

So we went to see Noah. I was completely unbiased, having read no reviews or heard anything about the movie other than what Dave told me. I was expecting some kind of Biblical epic movie, à la The Ten Commandments.

Was I ever disappointed.

Rather, it was more like a Lord of the Rings fantasy, with giant rock-like fallen angels (the Nephilim from Genesis 6:4?) fighting off a scary horde of bad guys. Not faithful to the Bible story, although Noah, his wife and three sons were there.

The good thing about the movie: some of the performances. Russell Crowe as Noah was just so-so, but I loved Jennifer Connelly as Noah's wife. Anthony Hopkins was awesome, as usual, playing Methuselah. I also loved Hermione... I mean Emma Watson... as Shem's young wife, and Shem and Ham emoted all the angst of youth, no problem.

The special effects were also good. The setting was bleak and barren, symbolic of the sinful world. I was impressed by the CGI animals teeming into the ark and the rains, pouring from the sky and geysering from the ground.

But I can't endorse the movie because it plays so fast and loose with the Bible story we know. If you plan to see the movie, think of it fiction or fantasy, not Christian or Jewish, and definitely not Biblically accurate.

One final good thing about it: I came home and re-read the Noah section of Genesis (chapters 5-9) to see if my impressions were accurate. I guess anything that makes me read the Bible can't be all bad.

Overall, the best thing about Noah was the reclining seats. :)

My grade: C-

Has anyone else seen Noah? What did you think?


  1. Thanks for the review. I guess we will see it when it hits redbox.

    1. LOL, we should have waited. Although those recliner chairs are AWESOME!